When I folded my first shirt and packed it into my suitcase, never to be worn again on Year Course, reality hit me like a slap in the face: on Tuesday, I'll be home.
Not home as in Bat Yam home - or Jerusalem home - or even Arad home; but Rye, New York home - the place where I grew up. The place where my friends, family, and boyfriend await my arrival, because it's where I "belong."
As this reality inches it's way nearer and nearer, I'm faced with the challenge of balancing my extremely unstable emotions - one moment I'll be happier than ever, partying, dancing, and singing with my best friends in the country I feel I've become a part of; the next moment I'll be an emotional wreck, crying about the "end," about living in a secular country, about not feeling connected to anything. I've even felt, on the opposite extreme, excited to see the people I care about at home, to start my summer internship, to sleep in a cozy bed.
Until that time actually comes, I need to really be in the present, because I realize that predicting my imminent depression won't do me any good.
So, I made the executive decision to not write my last IsraeLife post in Israel. This is simply a temporary final entry until I can sit and reflect, clear-minded and devoid of distractions, back in America.
Israel, I'm not going to say goodbye because I know, for sure, Ill be back...
Lehitraot (see you later), it's been an incredible ride.